Masks and Hammers
by MoonSpider95
Summary: What happens when a God of Thunder crosses with the Instrument of Chaos? Here's your answer.
1. Insanity and Chaos

**Author's Note: I never read about Thor and Loki, so I apologize if they seem out of character or the Asgardian lingo is off. It's my first time. Dark Horse and Marvel own these characters, don't sue me.**

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Insanity and Chaos

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_The Mighty God of Thunder was on a mission. An assignment from his father, Odin. Loki, once banished from Asgard, never to enter Valhalla, has returned. Wishing to regain his own chaotic power in an attempt to take over Midguard, Loki was to drain the forces from an artifact he instilled the magic of chaos and disorder that has plagued mankind for oh-so-many years. Thor graciously accepted this hunt, and both he and Loki knew where to find said artifact - - - Edge City. _

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Thor grasped his hammer ready for battle, flying high above Edge City in the middle of night. The mystic powers guided him to the nearest source of Loki's chaos. An alarm was breaking the silence of the night, and he landed in the bank of the city. Out of earshot, he could only see a man with an apparent green face stretching and contorting with no cause. Thor could only reason this as a distraction attempt for the strange being's foe. The man was thwarting robbers, changing shape and body every few seconds, but whose "default" outfitting seemed to be a yellow suit which many would think would only be popular in the 30s. However, there was certain flair in his step.

Thor approached the scene, landing, and scaring the mortal felons from the bank, dropping all money they may have taken. The man was simply confused. Who was this man? Why was he dressed like that? Why interrupt him? And why the big hammer?

"Cease all activity in the name of the Mighty Thor!"

"Let me see you're over-sized garage tool! In the name of the Mask!"

"Recognize yourself not by your garment! I demand the, state thy self in - -"

"Theme Music!"

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_I…gotcha with my winning smile,_

_I'm a living lesson in flare and style,_

_You just can't help but stare at my savoir flare._

_I'm new bo-decko, _

_roman grecko, ro coco, beroco, _

_bebop..uh…hip-hop, uh…flip-flop. _

_SOMEBODY STOP ME!_

_Pretty, viridian faces like mine… _

_Don't come a dime a dozen, _

_I STAND OUT IN A CROWD!_

_Babe, when they made me,_

_Yeah, they broke the MOLD!_

_Wholesome and kind,_

_State and refined,_

_TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND!_

_Aaaa…rch villains and ne'er do wells_

_Had better learn to decorate prison cells._

"_Green goes with anything if they ask, see?"_

_But there's one last thing I gotta sing about._

_Open up wide and really SHOUT!_

_OHHH, LOOK OUT!_

_THIS IS THE MASK!_

"_S-s-s-smokin'!"_

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Thor stood in a daze, as he watched all of reality change to different flashes of this person's exploits, yet still in a stage as if he were the audience listening to a simple show tune. He certainly learned of his new target - - a lunatic. A maniac. He had his goal clear and demanded from him - - retrieve the Mask before Loki can. But what of the intentions of this Mask? The Mask that Loki hexed, for lack of a better term, brings a person's inner most desires to life. Though definite insanity, and despite the fact of the wrong person being able to use the Mask for ultimate destruction, the current possessor, or "possessed" as some may understand it, was of good heart and attempt to thwart local crime.

"Oh, a whole internal narration just for little ol' me?" the Mask asked now in the form of a green-faced starlet in a glittery red dress and sassy blond hair. "I-I just don't know what to _say_."

"You wish to be called the Mask? Very well. Your creator, Loki, has returned. Fair warn that he will attempt to peel the artifact from your flesh. Do _not_ let him. I offer my services to imprison him once again."

"Re-he-he-_heally_? An old-time speaking gardener on steroids?"

"I am the Mighty Thor, Son of Odin."

"Like, those Norse myths, right? Answer me this - - do Gods wear underwear?"

"Why?"

Before he could respond, a familiar face drove by in a police car. Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway and Detective Doyle were arriving to arrest the crooks who were robbing the National Bank. A mischievous smile spread across the Mask and he squeezed from out of the cushions of the back seat of the police car in handcuffs and began to cry loudly. He also was kicking his feet, pounding viciously, shouting to the likes of "I'm innocent, I'm innocent!" to taunt the policemen, at one point transforming into a baby. The smile once again spread across his face as the Mask reach below, once again an adult, not handcuffed, into the bottom of Kellaway's seat.

"WEDGIE!"

The Mask hopped about like a rubber bouncy ball right next to Thor. Thor showed his hammer which was sparking with lightning in a way that said, "Don't even think about it." And the Mask's eyeballs popped out and spinned in their sockets as the jaw dropped to the cement. Bystanders took one glance at this and turned their heads to speed away.

"So, uh, where you from?"

"I hail from the Kingdom of Asgard, as does your creator."

"Asgard? What is that, a type of deodorant?"

As Thor tried to regain his sanity, clouds turned dark, and the streets turned up in what were giant, cartoon-esque waves. Thor flew into the air, readying his hammer while the Mask just shrugged, then transformed into a Terminator-type robot.

"Crazy street turner from the deodorant people, you will not be back!"

"God of Evil hath trespassed onto Midguard? You shant succeed in your quest!"

"Oooh! Something _fun's_ gonna happen!"


	2. Shadows of the Night

**Author's Note: Skillet is an old enemy of the Mask from the cartoons, not sure if you guys remember him. I know Enchantress was slain, but think of it like its continuing from or around the same time as Hulk vs. Thor, Enchantress was mad Thor didn't choose her so now she works for Loki.**

**I don't own the Mask, Thor, Enchantress, or Skillet. They are owned by Marvel and Dark Horse. Please don't sue me!**

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"Wait a minute, that ain't no God of chaos or whatever…..Skillet, what are _you_ doing here?"

"What can I say? Stealing shadows just ain't as glamorous as – "

"Being a half-pint minion for a half-wit God?"

"Ye may be in haste to question Loki's might. If this be his minion, then smite it I shall!"

Thor raised his hammer, swinging it with his arm rotating fully. A surge of lightning struck the little man from the shadow dimension into a crisp. Thor struck again and again to make sure it was down, knowing it to be a mystical being. The Mask interrupted him, now in a referee uniform, blowing a whistle and separating Thor from Skillet. He spoke with a country accent.

"Whoa_-ho _now! That little fella is down for the count! You break bones before the call and you can bet me takin ya up on the fifth round!"

"Ugh, very well. I wonder just what it is Loki plans to do to obtain you. Surely, you are not to be trifled with, despite your hand in the bag of the trickster."

"I'm a what-bag?"

"Never mind. He may not foresee my presence, therefore the safest place for you to be is at my castle in Asgard. Though in truth, my favor for the Mask's possessor would most possibly be anyone else!"

"Well, at _least_ Stan-boy never knocked anyone up, that'd be trouble. Just ask Jamie Kennedy."

"Whom?"

"Never mind. Whelp, to an ancient mythical civilization I go!" he says, now in his regular but not ordinary yellow suit.

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"_Saaaaaaaay_, nice digs! Sun roof come standard?" asked the Mask, his eyeball popping out about a foot and a half through a hole made with his fingers.

"That is a shaft, typically used to – "

"Uh-huh, yeah nice…" said the Mask, who then smiled devilishly to himself. He spun into a tornado and made himself comfortable for _his_ standards by making a sofa, TV, coffee table and a bowl of popcorn appear. Sitting down and helping himself to popcorn, the Mask was now in jean shorts, a baseball jersey, and a baseball cap that held two cans of root beer at both sides with straws down to his mouth to drink.

"You don't mind if I show ya a little 'modern-day' hiding out, would ya pal?"

Annoyed as Thor may be, the God of Thunder noticed shadows moving about the castle. Once the mask noticed them too, he began to nervously shake, and pulled a blanket seemingly out of nowhere and used it to cover himself, only his eyes and hat popping out. The shadows piled into one another, then began to form a mass. Skillet came back. The Mask forced his blanket away and began to yell.

"SKILLET? How many times do we have to kick you can before you – "

Before he could finish, a woman appeared in shimmering light, using magic to appear before them. It was a woman dressed in green with a matching headpiece and long blonde hair.

"Enchantress?"

"I am sorry Mighty God, but no one shall stop Loki from regaining his full power. Mask! Come to me!"

"You got it, babe!"

The Mask took her in his arms and started to, well, he turned into a wolf guy, and if you ever watched early Wolf cartoons as a kid, then you know where he's going. In his wolf form, the Mask pants heavily and begins howling and stomping his leg down repeatedly. Enchantress didn't like that. She created a magic bolt and blasted him to the other side of the room. Then Enchantress created a magic shield and forced it forward to crush Thor, only to have him hold against it using his hammer. Lightning was pouring from the hammer, finally summoning enough energy to break her magic shield and force her back. Enchantress held her ground and came back angrier.

"To be continued!"

"Mask…..what – "

"Nothin."


	3. Magic

**Author's Note: Yeah, just wanna squeeze in the usual. I've never written Thor and all that before, so sorry if I'm off on the details. The lingo I don't think you should worry so much about for this chapter, it's mainly just a fight scene. I know Echantress is dead, so think of it as a continuation of the Hulk vs. Thor movie, she was mad Thor didn't choose her, so now Enchantress works with Loki. I also supplied a link to the theme music if you wanna listen to it here. Ok, now we're good. On with the story!**

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Magic

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_I…gotcha with my winning smile,_

_I'm a living lesson in flare and style,_

_You just can't help but stare at my savoir flare._

_I'm new bo-decko, _

_roman grecko, ro coco, beroco, _

_bebop..uh…hip-hop, uh…flip-flop. _

_SOMEBODY STOP ME!_

_Pretty, viridian faces like mine… _

_Don't come a dime a dozen, _

_I STAND OUT IN A CROWD!_

_Babe, when they made me,_

_Yeah, they broke the MOLD!_

_Wholesome and kind,_

_State and refined,_

_TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND!_

_Aaaa…rch villains and ne'er do wells_

_Had better learn to decorate prison cells._

"_Green goes with anything if they ask, see?"_

_But there's one last thing I gotta sing about._

_Open up wide and really SHOUT!_

_OHHH, LOOK OUT!_

_THIS IS THE MASK!_

"_S-s-s-smokin'!"_

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"Um…Mask…speak your logic. You sing yet again of yourself?"

"Well, in _my_ show we'd be in the second episode by now."

"What –"

"Nothing."

The Enchantress grew impatient. She forced a blast at the pillar behind them and the section of the ceiling crumbled. Thor combated the debris with his mighty hammer while the Mask simply blocked it by pulling out an umbrella. He smiled devilishly at the Enchantress, annoying her to a point where she ran towards him, steadily shooting magic blasts. The Mask dodged this by stretching as the blasts pass, first swinging his body fluidly from right to left, then pulling up as a blast passed between his legs.

Thor used his hammer's lightning to fend off the Enchantress, but she was too fast putting up a shield. A devious smile spread across her face leapt onto the Mask's chest.

"Whoa, babe! Ain't cha gonna at least _wait_ until our first date?"

The Enchantress began to pull on his face, desperately trying to remove it. The man may be a fool, but he had too much power. The Mask's face stretched like any sort of rubber, slacking just enough for him to talk in a groan.

"Wait...where'd Skillet go?"

The Mask was able to turn just enough to see Thor was pounding lightning into a dark portal Skillet has created. Emerging were the creatures of the shadow realm. Each were misshaped, grotesque monsters and skeletons set ablaze in a glowing green fire which still emitted shadows and darkness where ever they wandered. Thor tried to light his way through the darkness and combat the creatures, but found himself overwhelmed, Skillet floating, laughing, at the scene.

The Enchantress was forced to use her magic to pry off the Mask's mask. The mask was formed in wood as it changed in her hands. A tornado surrounded the Mask as he changed into his true form.

"What…what am I doing here? Aaaah!"

Stanley Ipkiss hid behind a pillar that was half destroyed in the crossfire. He peaked out onto the scene, completely oblivious as to what was happening. The Enchantress held her prize high, gazing deeply into the wood. Skillet, seeing the job done, opened another shadow portal, allowing their escape.

To be continued…


	4. Going Down

**Author's Note: Yup, I finally updated with the last issue - after a month, which, trust me, is a long time for me. I'm usually a pretty fast writer. So, sorry for the wait! (:D) Enjoy!**

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Going Down

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Stanley cowers behind the God of Thunder as he combats the shadow creatures. One by one they fell. Every so often one would cling to Thor's shoulders, desperately attempting to steal the life and youth of a God. Realizing how the Mask was stolen, Stanley began to plan.

"Hey – hey, listen, you're a strong guy, you can blast our way out of this to - - where ever those two took off to, right?"

"A great battle awaits us. These demons shant allow our leave, and even then the Pits of the Underworld are in our way – ARGH! – Surely there is a weakness to these creations of the Shadow Realm?"

"Shadow….ugh, how could I forget? Light! We need more light!"

Realizing the method of destruction, Thor slammed his opponents to the ground. Stanley struggled to shove individual enemies off of Thor, offering his assistance. Once given the room, Thor blasted lightning into the sky. A hole was broken through the ceiling of the palace. Light filled the castle as well as the thick air that surrounded the creatures. They sizzled and screamed, all vanishing into a vapor, burned by their own glowing, green flames.

"Y-you know, that really was an _obvious_ weakness."

"Many creatures are as such. In the heat of battle even the most valiant of warriors make foolish decisions."

"So you screwed up?"

"You truly are the green one. Make haste! There is but one place so foul and despised as to house the Instrument of Chaos." Thor proclaimed swinging his hammer.

With the speed it was going, the hammer blurred until a portal of lightning emerged. Stanley grew terrified of what would await him and began to slowly move backward, only to have Thor grab him by his jacket and drag him to their destination.

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The existence of this realm was ghastly as it was terrifying. Everywhere red, volcanic rock was accented by the spewing fire and overwhelming scent of brimstone. Skeletons paved the way to nowhere as screams of tortured souls echoed through the caverns. The cruel _**Underworld**_ was the danger our heroes faced.

Hela, daughter of Loki, sat on a throne of charred, spiked bones. Thor has arrived with a mere mortal at his side. At the sight, Hela only smirked, recognizing her superiority.

"What be the meaning for such a visit as to enter the fires of the soul keep?"

"You know of what your blood hast taken!"

"My father has nothing to do with me."

"No? Then pray tell the flames of your throne's sides. Only a goddess with strength rekindled by the Instrument of Chaos could wield power that rivals her hold."

"What use would it serve Thor?"

"N-not him! Me!"

Hela turned to him and laughed immensely at this concept, unable to stifle it. With the raise of her hand, Hela shot a green lightning that felt as cold going by as the breathes of the dead. Stanley shrieked of terror and once again hid behind Thor.

"You cannot hold the Mask here! No being can wield its might, God _nor_ mortal!"

"A mere mortal _has_ claimed the Mask, and now it shall be wielded by not only a Goddess, but the Ruler of the Underworld!"

"Need I thine might to change thy stand?"

"So be it!"

For a second Thor turned to Stanley only to see that he is missing. Hela raised her hands to bring an army to stance. The ground of bones and brimstone shook, corpses rising from the earth. The dirt rose into the air and the moans of Hela's minions chilled the spines of whoever would hear. The army attacked Thor, him using his hammer to shatter his opponents to mere shards.

Stanley was hiding behind Hela's throne, thanking God that he is so unnoticeable as a person! He saw across the wooden Mask levitating in a case created by blood and fire. There normally would be guards, traps, and beasts to defend this mischievous treasure, only Hela made one mistake – she used all her forces to combat Thor. Stanley threw a rock at the Mask as an attempt to not be burnt and all the fire turned green. The ground shook. The army previously intent on killing Thor now saw to this mortal. Quickly, Stanley put on the Mask and spun into a tornado to become his new form.

"I AM _BACK_ EVERYBODY!" the Mask screamed now holding a microphone and swinging the wire. "We_-e-ell_, I gotta it is great to be back and I just gotta ask, _who_ is _this_ chick?" he asked as he grabbed Hela by the shoulders and dipped her in midair.

Anger grew in Hela's eyes, but before she could burn him, that crazy yellow tornado created a romantic dinner beside a pile of brimstone, overlooking a lava flow. The table was set in white lace with a rose in a vase towards the middle, but the food prepared was fried chicken – extra spicy.

"Out! Out! OUT!" Hela screamed. "Of all that I have faced – Hordes of Rock Giants, Gas Trolls, Ice Demons and the Wrath of _All_ Gods – but this be of pure _torture_!"

With that, Thor and the Mask were allowed to take their leave and transported themselves straight to Midguard.

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"So blondie, whatever happened to Loki and Skillet?"

"Loki hast left the Mask in care of his daughter till his return, for every moment of chaos in the world, Loki wishes to please himself and observe. The shadow creature merely retreated to his realm."

"Makes sense, but just one thing."

"What?"

"HER!"

Who, me?

"Yes, you! You took a month to write this issue, you let Skillet go – in a universe I have to live in but won't be read anymore, by the way – and I only got to give _one_ wedgie!"

Oh, well, I'm sorry. I guess I just – MASK! You get away from…..I don't care if you only got to give _one_, you - - ok, gotta go now, end of story, Bye!


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